Unconditional Love

We all know the expression – but do we all mean the same thing when we use the words?

I am going to examine “unconditional love” from the perspective of what mischievous distractions obscure the original meaning of the expression. Then I will look at how relating to unconditional love in its pure form can empower an individual human being.

“Love” is a problematic term on its own. We use it to refer to everything from preferences (“I love chili hot dogs”) to appreciation (“I love the way you arranged those flowers”) to emotion (“I love my dog”) to commitment (“I will always love you”). We use the simple expression “I love you” to mean an apology (I know I upset you but I didn’t mean to, please forgive me), a demand (do this because I love you so you owe me), a promise (I will take care of you for the rest of your life), or a way of avoiding a promise (I love you, isn’t that enough?).

When we add “unconditional” to qualify love, we narrow the possible range of meanings considerably. If you really comprehend what constitutes a “condition”, you will find that the type of love which is truly unconditional is one with which we are not terribly familiar in our culture.

What does “conditional” mean?

Conditional – relating to conditions.

Conditions – circumstances, requirements.

So, if the presence of love relates to any particular condition (circumstance or requirement), it is not, by definition, unconditional.

The love of parents for their children and vice versa is not unconditional. It depends on the circumstance of being related by birth or adoption. Parents and children can move from conditional to unconditional love at any time (once the children reach the age of reason), but most never do.

Sexual love is not unconditional. It depends on the sexual attraction between the participants. It is possible that two people who have a sexual loving relationship may also love one another unconditionally – the test of this is whether the love would be present if the sexual relationship ended and both parties started sexual relationships with others. If this circumstance would interrupt the love, then the love is not unconditional.

The love of one’s friends is not unconditional. It depends on shared interests, mutual support, communication, and all the other things that make our friends our friends. People who share friendly love may also love one another unconditionally. If the love is unconditional, it remains present through betrayal, lies, long periods of no communication, and severe divergence of lifestyles and interests. If any of these circumstances threaten the love, then it is conditional.

Unconditional love is not personal. If you love someone for their sense of humour, personality, the way they make you feel, or any other aspect of their identity, your love is conditional. It depends on the presence of that characteristic. If the person ceased to be or have all the things that you enjoy, would the love still be present?

Here’s the real kicker – unconditional love does not come and go. It just is.

So, there exists unconditional love between all people, and in fact within the entire Universe, at all times.

So how can we say that, for example, love between parents and children is conditional? If there is always unconditional love present, wouldn’t “love” always be unconditional then?

While unconditional love always exists, we are often unaware of it. And other forms of love, conditional forms, are one of the things that can get in the way of truly experiencing it.

What gets in the way of experiencing unconditional love (as a presence) is all the distractions of a human being identity. These distractions include the seven deadly sins (anger, pride, envy, and so on), but those are relatively easy to spot. A more subtle set of distractions is all the things we think are good – like the attached love of sexual partners, friends, and relatives.

There is something daunting in surrendering the attached loves. Somehow, it seems almost unloving to let go the bonds and love those people just the way we love everyone else on the planet. It is as though we feel the attached love is loving “more”. Loving personally and specifically is “stronger” or “better” to us.

I can only offer as encouragement my observation that it is easier to truly hear and understand someone when listening from unconditional love. Attached love clouds the space with your own ego identity and its wants and needs, limiting the room for the other person to express themselves and be heard clearly. Attached love contains expectations, which cause upsets when they are not met. Upsets cause reactions, reactions cause further reactions, and before you know it the experience of unconditional love is completely obscured. You may still be having a good time, even, but it is a small, inside-the-ego-consciousness good time, not an experience of boundless, infinite, unconditional love.

In a way, it is easier to experience unconditional love with a stranger than with someone close to you. There is less pre-existing “stuff” in the space. Although we are pretty good at projecting all kinds of apprehensive thoughts into the space with a stranger, too!

In the end, unconditional love is a reflection of the whole human experience – all around all the time, yet we are attending to anything and everything else, and we just miss it. The brief moments of pure consciousness, of complete connection with the Universe, have their corresponding moments of pure connection with another human being, you-and-I-are-one consciousness.

We resist it.

We avoid it.

We fear it.

We worship it.

We seek it.

We deny its very existence.

But, fundamentally, we are it.

When you take away all circumstances, all identity, all personal characteristics, all individual ego wants and needs and desires, all that remains is that which we all have in common, that which we all are.

And that which we are is – only and always - “unconditional love”.

 

 The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Goodness in what you have

 Happiness is being where you want to be and doing what you want to be doing. As such, happiness requires nothing more than an adjustment in your attitude.

Wherever you may be, can quickly and easily be where you want to be. Whatever you’re doing, can immediately be what you want to be doing.

You’ll never be happy by wishing for what you don’t have. You can always be happy by accepting and seeing the goodness in what you do have.

It’s essential to have dreams and goals for the future, yet your dreams will not make you happy in the present. In fact, it is your happiness that will bring the reality of your dreams into the present.

What you have is what you have, so make the very most of it. Be happy, be thankful, and you’ll be living at your highest level of effectiveness.

See the goodness and the value in your very own experience of here and now. Be happy now, and in your happiness you’ll find and fulfill the best of who you are.

Live your blessings

It is good to reflect upon thankful thoughts. It is even better to continually put thankfulness into action.

The way to be truly and fully thankful for what you have is to put it to use. Abundance grows more abundant when it is exercised.

Life’s great and wonderful blessings are not for hoarding. They are for living.

What’s important is not how much or how little you have. What’s important is what you do with it.

You won’t find richness in the objects of your desire. True richness comes in the living, dynamic expression and fulfillment of those desires.

Be genuinely thankful for your good fortune by applying that good fortune in an authentic, purposeful direction. Make good use of life’s goodness, and there is no limit to how valuable it can grow.

Keeping Faith

                                              Keeping Faith

Liberating his grip, he watches it fall away; watches the petite granules of time flow away with the wind, sees them getting caught here and there, everywhere but him.

He is loosing her, feels her crumbling away...and the harder he holds on, the more it flakes off!

Blinded by fate’s sharp turns, he was left alone, with nothing to think, nothing to loose, nothing to feel, but her unattainable presence.

he walked along the path clueless, not knowing where to go, not knowing what to do, what to look ahead to and what to wish! It’s a trail leading him through the graveyard of his memories, and he walks wordlessly.

no one knows the storm inside

no one knows the battles he fight

no one knows its he, who was left behind

It had all come back, what he forever wanted had returned to him, what he wanted to hear was finally heard by him, what he wanted to see was finally seen by him, but he lied there feeling less! Not knowing how to answer...! he is so used to being lonely, so used to the cruel feelings, that the storm which used to once come roaring in, had pacified itself, and dwelled with him silently.

Just an illusion, that's what he thinks he is, and thinks he can just fade away... ebb noiselessly, and unobserved!

He forgets that life is not in his hands, the book of his providence is with someone better, more trust-able, more immortal. It is someone who has already written his lifeline, and has preserved it in a cover, its someone who wants good for him,

he has to realize that life will go its own way, and no matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we fight, we wont win our way, we are too small to combat life,

He has to realize, that what will happen, will happen for the best, and that we have to have faith.

He has to realize, that when God gives us something to hold onto, we should never embrace it too tight, because when He asks for it back, it becomes hard to let go

He has to realize that there's a difference between, hope and expectations.  

He has to hope for the best, but expect the worst :)

He has to have faith,he has to believe.

                      Riding a seesaw of life...

Isn't it amazing, how that one person can mean so much, the way the same person, who makes you cry the most, could make you laugh the hardest too...!

Isnt it weird, how we can smile so much, when the others are so sad


ever wondered how when one person dies, another arrives

ever realized the way there is a day and a night

the way there's heaven and hell!

the way things end, but always with a beginning...

the way there is life and death
..devils and angels 

...tears and smiles...


ever considered how the summer is always replaced by the winter, and the sun always by the moon!

how some people have a thousand enemies, but then have that one friend, who  is worth those thousands.

we are living at a delicate balance, its not always about reaching the sky, but sometimes, we gotta look down, and realize that, we can get tired of flying one day...

life is like a seesaw, you got to balance it right, or else you will end up crashing down :)

A whole new day of life :) :)

It is a rare and wonderful privilege just to be able to experience this moment. Make whatever you do fully worthy of all you have.

You have the considerable good fortune of being immersed in a sea of positive possibilities. Realize how useless and ridiculous it is to complain about what is, when you have the power to choose what to do.

Sure, there is sadness and disappointment, pain, uncertainty and great challenge in your world. Yet you have the opportunity to transcend it all with love and life, with purpose and passion.

Especially when it feels like you have it bad, remind yourself how truly good you have it. Then do something good and valuable and meaningful and beautiful with what you have.

Express gratitude for your good fortune not merely in words, but in the way you live. Make full, positive and consequential use of each moment as you move through it.

Whatever this day brings you, it also brings you a whole new day of life. Choose to make joyful and worthy use of every precious moment.

Echo of the Rainbow...

 

Reflection of our Love

in the mirror of the sky

shining bright

Recollection of our Dreams

brought to the dawn with

the sailing light

Appreciation of our Life

with the power of every

breath we take

Anticipation of Holiness

painted with the colors

of endless lake

Impression of the Greatness

portrayed under the veil

of silky night

Inspiration of the Creative Spirit

deep within rising to its

impressive height

Nobleness of every Act

sealed by the splendor

of amazing grace

Nonchalance of every Move

marked in everlasting

time and space

Beauty of the World

vastly spread across

the horizon wide

Blossom of the Soul

quietly reaching

the serenity of flowing tide

Observation of Desire

with sweet passion

keeping us awake

Obligation of Emotions

to quench the thirst

of slowly burning ache

Wisdom of Centuries

preserved in the purity

of nature's pride

Wave of Gratitude

taking us softly to the shore

on the other side...

Self improvement !

To be experienced means not to be deceived by anything. There are so many times when a situation takes us by surprise and we make the same mistake that we had made before. It is only when the situation has passed that we realize that we have actually repeated that mistake. What then remains is only repentance as the time has passed where we could have done something. Whenever there is a mistake, we need to take care that we learn from whatever has happened. When we continue to move forward in this way there will be no repentance for the mistakes made but there will be learning that'll make us experienced. And when we are experienced we'll never be deceived by situations which make us commit mistakes.

Ways for Coping with Stress !

 

Stress is a part of most people’s lives. It is a reality that we all live with. This is why we need to have different mechanisms in place for coping with stress. The challenge for most of us is actually being cognizant of when we are stressed. It is such an habitual state for us to be in, that most of the time we don’t even know when we are in it!

We all have distinctive and personal indicators that we manifest when we are feeling stressed. What are yours?

Physical symptoms are the most obvious:

Do you bite your nails?

Do you perspire?

Do you clench your teeth?

Do you get a headache or feel your neck muscles getting tight?

Maybe you don’t have any obvious physical symptoms because your signs are more intangible.

Do you feel overwhelmed?

Do you get anxious?

Maybe you are irritable?

Maybe afraid?

Do you get curt with people because you are frustrated with what you perceive as their ineptness?

If you want to cope with your stress then you need to recognize what types of behavior you exhibit while in a “stressful state” and which situations trigger these behaviors.

Step 1. Contemplate on what your significant symptoms are when you are feeling stressed. List as many as possible.

Step 2. Go through each point and reflect on it. Write down in as much detail as possible the situations that usually trigger these stressors.

Step 3. Now think about whether you actually have the desire and discipline to do something about it. Even though we may be aware of the fact that we are stressed; we can get so wrapped up in the drama of it all that we just go with it.

In some ways it seems easier to let the “snowball of stress” continue to gain momentum instead of employing our force of will to stop it.

If you are honest with yourself, you may come to the conclusion that you are not committed to changing.

Being “stressed out” is a way of life for you. It is all you know, you are good at it!

What if you embark on this new path of “less stress” and you fail. Fear of failure and fear of change are natural human responses.

The real failure comes when we let fear stop us.

 SMILE

 

 A smile costs nothing, but gives much. 

It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.

It takes a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile;
Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

I’ve learned-

 

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

 

Helpless love

 

  

Once upon a time all feelings and emotions went to a coastal island for a vacation. According to their nature, each was having a good time. Suddenly, a warning of an impending storm was announced and everyone was advised to evacuate the island.

The announcement caused sudden panic. All rushed to their boats. Even damaged boats were quickly repaired and commissioned for duty.

Yet, Love did not wish to flee quickly. There was so much to do. But as the clouds darkened, Love realized it was time to leave. Alas, there were no boats to spare. Love looked around with hope.

Just then Prosperity passed by in a luxurious boat. Love shouted, “Prosperity, could you please take me in your boat?”

“No,” replied Prosperity, “my boat is full of precious possessions, gold and silver. There is no place for you.”

A little later Vanity came by in a beautiful boat. Again Love shouted, “Could you help me, Vanity? I am stranded and need a lift. Please take me with you.”

Vanity responded haughtily, “No, I cannot take you with me. My boat will get soiled with your muddy feet.”

Sorrow passed by after some time. Again, Love asked for help. But it was to no avail. “No, I cannot take you with me. I am so sad. I want to be by myself.”

When Happiness passed by a few minutes later, Love again called for help. But Happiness was so happy that it did not look around, hardly concerned about anyone.

Love was growing restless and dejected. Just then somebody called out, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” Love did not know who was being so magnanimous, but jumped on to the boat, greatly relieved that she would reach a safe place.

On getting off the boat, Love met Knowledge. Puzzled, Love inquired, “Knowledge, do you know who so generously gave me a lift just when no one else wished to help?”

Knowledge smiled, “Oh, that was Time.”

“And why would Time stop to pick me and take me to safety?” Love wondered.

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and replied, “Because only Time knows your true greatness and what you are capable of. Only Love can bring peace and great happiness in this world.”

“The important message is that when we are prosperous, we overlook love. When we feel important, we forget love. Even in happiness and sorrow we forget love. Only with time do we realize the importance of love. Why wait that long? Why not make love a part of your life today?”

The King With Four Wives 

 

Once upon a time there was a rich king who had four wives. He loved the fourth wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the third wife very much and showed her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.

He also loved his second wife. She was his confidante and she was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the king faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times.

The king's first wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife but although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the King fell ill and he knew that his time was short. Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad king asked the third wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I am going to remarry!"

His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out of this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "The very most, I can only send you to your grave."

Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go."

The king looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, because she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved the King said, "I should have taken better care of you when I had a chance!"

Our 4th wife is our BODY. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look great, it'll leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our POSSESSIONS, STATUS and WEALTH. When we die, it will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our FAMILY and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

Our 1st wife is our SOUL, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. So cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now! It is your greatest gift to offer the world.

  Ways to Be More Humble and to Act Humbly

• Use the response “It’s My Pleasure” when someone thanks you for doing something.
• Use the response “I’d be honored” when someone asks you to help them or do something with them.
• Listen more than you talk
• Count to 3 before adding to a conversation to ensure the other person is done
• Be willing to follow another person in conversation even if you don’t get to talk about your idea
• Always offer to improve someone else’s idea and give them credit
• Give credit for other’s ideas that you are carrying through on
• Ask others for the opinion of others
• Ask others to join conversations and contribute
• 
• Artwork by Adam Stone
• It’s OK to be wrong and so admit it
• Admit when you don’t understand or know something
• Appreciate others who learn something quickly and say so
• Be quick to apologize when you do something wrong
• Study moral principles
• Use moral principles to guide you
• You are God’s creation, not your own
• Recognize your talents as gifts, not your own ability
• Know how your skills have only be developed by the help of others
• Share your own knowledge to pass on what you have learned
• Pass on thanks when you receive it to those who helped you achieve what was thanked
• Value other people’s time as much as your own
• Never equate time spent with people to a dollar value
• Don’t boast about your achievements, let others recognize them instead
• Keep your goals to yourself
• Help other people with their goals
• Realize the potential in others
• Know that timing is everything and everyone excels at different times in life
• Being the 1st follower is often the best way to lead
• Since winning isn’t everything, you don’t have to win
• Recognize that you have faults
• Remember you are a sinner (in other words, you are no better or worse than anyone else)
• Ignore first impressions of people
• Give others the benefit of the doubt
• Provide positive and encouraging feedback instead of criticism
• Make a choice to act more humbly
• Practice at least one humble act each day
• Be grateful for successes without boasting about them
• Know how to accept praise with a simple thank you, don’t elaborate on it or talk more about it
• Recognize the individualism of others and yourself, there is no need to conform
• Share your core values and live them accordingly regardless of the circumstances
• Prioritize things in your life and rate your actions on whether to followed that priority or not
• Rate other people as first, be less significant
• Forgive those who wrong you and move on without revenge or lashing back
• Serve others and not yourself first
• Seek wisdom, which is knowledge of what is true coupled with just judgment of action
• Recognize and know that you know little and there is always more to learn
• Avoid explosive reactions, and subside any aggression
• Accept new ideas and change, not being stuck on what you knew before
• Teach all that you can for the benefit of others
• Learn from and model the life of the most humble teachers in history

Forgiveness – Learning to Forgive

 

Why is it so difficult for us to forgive others? Why do we find it so hard to let go?

Sometimes, even years after a certain incident; sometimes, even after they have apologized; sometimes, when they have hurt you unknowingly and have no idea that you are struggling to forgive them.

Why?

Because we are usually under the misconception that we will be doing them a favor by forgiving them.

That in fact, is not the case.

When we forgive someone, we actually do ourselves a huge favor because through forgiveness.

We release all the negative thoughts, emotions and energies that we are so desperately holding onto in our anger.

Replaying the moment again and again in our mind, torturing ourselves in so many ways.

It hurts us more than them, when we don’t forgive.

We find it hard to forgive because we think we are in the more powerful position when we hold back forgiveness.

Actually we are the weak ones, if that’s the kind of power we rely on to give us strength.

We are also not able to forgive because we take everything so personally.

Not everything another person does is done with the concious intention of hurting you.

Sometimes they are just trying to protect themselves and that’s the best they way they know how to protect themselves.

We need to give allowance to others for their insecurities and their imperfections without taking things personally.

So even if you do it for the most selfish of reasons, go ahead and forgive.

First, forgive yourself for holding onto the grudge for as long as you did.

Then, forgive the other person.