Friday 26 July 2013



30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

Remember today, for it is the beginning.
Today marks the start of a brave new future.
Here it is, a positive ‘to-do’ list 30 things to start 

1.  Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
2.  Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3.  Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.
4.  Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
5.  Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
6.  Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
7.  Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
8.  Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.
9.  Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
10.      Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. 
11.      Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.
12.      Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready!  Think about it.  You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward.  So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
13.      Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be.  Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment.  And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
14.      Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
15.      Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  Aim to break your own personal records.
16.      Start cheering for other people’s victories. Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
17.      Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
18.      Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others.  And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
19.      Start helping those around you. – Care about people.  Guide them if you know a better way.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.  Love and kindness begets love and kindness.  And so on and so forth.
20.      Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition.  Be true to yourself.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
21.      Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down.  Breathe.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
22.      Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day.  Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner.  Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
23.      Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are.  Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal.  No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
24.      Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.  Get out there and DO something!  The harder you work the luckier you will become.  While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. 
25.      Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it.  Talk to those closest to you.  Tell them the truth about how you feel.  Let them listen.  The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
26.      Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.  You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
27.      Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
28.      Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
29.      Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.  No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. 
30.      Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”  Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.  You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You didn’t go to sleep outside.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.  You hardly broke a sweat today.  You didn’t spend a minute in fear.  You have access to clean drinking water.  You have access to medical care.  You have access to the Internet.  You can read.  Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.
 




LESSONS LEARNT EVERYDAY

Take everything you’ve ever learned – all the crazy experiences
and lessons – and place it all in a box labeled “Thank you.”


What has life taught you?  Think about all the things you would love to tell yourself if you could travel back in time to give your younger self some advice about life.
1.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.
2.In life, you usually get what you ask for, but it rarely comes in the package you think it’s supposed to come in.
3. Never let one bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.
4.Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life.  You just got to get there.
5. Tell the truth, or eventually someone will tell it for you.  A mistake is an accident.  Cheating and lying are not mistakes.  They are intentional choices.
6. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re better off without.
7. Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior.  Keep moving forward.
8. Surround yourself with positive people who are going to push you toward greatness.  Eliminate those who are trying to keep you from it.
9. Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something that does.
10.    Sometimes people aren’t who they seem to be, and sometimes people are so much more than you originally thought.
11.      Loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way.
12.     Maturity is not when we start speaking about big things; it’s when we start understanding the small things.
13.     Of all the things that can be stolen from you – your possessions, your youth, your health, your words, your rights – what no one can ever take from you is your freedom to choose what you will believe in, and who and what your heart will love.
14.     When you can forgive yourself and others and stop the imprisonment, you’re creating the love of your life.
15.     Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
16.     Age wrinkles the body.  Quitting on your dreams wrinkles the soul.
17.     The past can’t hurt you anymore – not unless you let it.
18.     Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy, and serves no purpose in creating a better future.
19.     Sometimes you’ve got to emotionally let go of the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you, and open the next chapter in your life.
20.  The path to our destination is not always a straight one.  We go down the wrong one, we get lost, and we turn back.  But maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on.  Maybe what matters is that we embark.
21.     It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed or if you’ve been beaten.  All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and try again.  Because winning is a good feeling, but winning when nobody else thought you could is an awesome feeling.
22.   Knowing yourself is one thing, but truly believing and living as you is another.  With so much social conditioning in our society, we sometimes forget who we are.
23.    The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
24.   You can grow stronger from the pain if you don’t let it destroy you.
25.   Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.
26.    The worst person to be around is the one who complains about everything and appreciates nothing.  Avoid these people at all costs.
27.   Live in such a way that if someone decided to speak badly of you, no one would believe it.
28.   If you love someone, tell them.  For hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.
29.   Life is shorter than it often seems.  Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the ones we love, and hundreds of hours to spend thinking of them.  Cherish the moments you have with your friends and family, because in one single second they can be taken away from you forever.
30.   Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.  The bad news: nothing is permanent.  The good news: nothing is permanent.
31.     It’s your road and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
32.    We often accept the love we think we deserve.
33.    If someone can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.
34.    Without communication there is no relationship; without respect there is no love; without trust there’s no reason to continue.
35.    If you leave someone at least tell them why, because knowing you’re not worth an explanation is even more painful than being abandoned.
36.    Speak when you are very angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
37.    Choose your words carefully – they can’t be taken back once you give them away.  Harsh words are like bullets – they can leave deep wounds.  And most of the time saying “sorry” is not enough to heal the wounds you leave.
38.    Never make a big decision when you’re angry, and never make a big promise when you’re overjoyed.
39.    It makes no sense to be second in someone’s life when you know you’re good enough to be first in someone else’s.
40.  Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.  Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
41.     There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.
42.   Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.
43.    When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.
44.   Don’t count the number of friends you have; count the number of friends you can count on.
45.   Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you can make you feel better than people right beside you.  That’s a sign of love and true friendship.
46.    There are times when family is like strangers, and strangers are like family.
47.   Life is not about making others happy.  Life is about sharing your happiness with others.
48.   When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.
49.   If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t ever change.
50.  Know you worth!  When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.
51.     Imperfections are important, and so are mistakes.  You get to be good by learning from your mistakes and you get to be real by being imperfect.
52.   The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
53.    The mind is like a parachute.  It doesn’t work unless it’s open.
54.   The difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do.
55.    If you really want to know where your destiny lies, look at where you apply your time.
56.    You are where you are right now because of the actions you’ve taken, or maybe the inaction you’ve taken.
57.    Be sure to taste your own words before you spit them out.
58.    Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.
59.    When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing.  Go for long walks.  Indulge in great conversations.  Question your assumptions.  Love yourself.  Pay attention to the moment.  Be a little crazy.  Count your blessings.  Let go for a little while and just be.
60.   Just as we cannot see that a seed has taken root until it breaks through the surface, we cannot always see our own growth happening until it does the same.
61.     Don’t ever change just to impress someone.  Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a better future.
62.    Feelings are like waves in the ocean; we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.
63.    Being happy doesn’t always make us grateful, but being grateful will always make us happy.
64.    Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have.
65.    It’s nice to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s also important to make sure you haven’t lost track of the things that money can’t buy.
66.    If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen.  Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.
67.    Life is like a rainbow, you need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.
68.    It’s better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that requires you to sacrifice your self-respect.
69.    Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
70.  Moving on can mean that you’re making a choice to be happy rather than hurt.  It doesn’t mean that you’re giving up.
71.     Decide to smile and make the best of it; it’s good for your health.
72.   Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.
73.    Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off.  It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.
74.   You don’t need a perfect one.  You just need someone who you can trust – who shows you that you’re the only one.
75.    There are people in your life whom you knowingly inspire simply by being you.
76.    Everyone says love hurts, but that’s not true.  Loneliness hurts.  Rejection hurts.  Losing someone hurts.  Envy hurts.  Everyone gets these things confused with love; but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.  Love is the one thing in this world that does not hurt.
77.    Real friendship is a promise made in the heart.  Silent.  Unwritten.  Unbreakable by distance.  Unchangeable by time.
78.    Good relationships are not just about the good times you share; it’s also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end.
79.    Do small things with huge amounts of love.  You’ll see why.
80.  Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.
81.     Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
82.   Look at yourself and remember, people in far worse situations have done far more difficult things than this.
83.    The best thing that you can do in life is follow your intuition.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.
84.   Most of the time happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power; it comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
85.    Lying is done with both words and silence.
86.    When something bad happens you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
87.    Don’t waste your time being upset about something you can’t change.  Start again right now and do it better this time.
88.    No relationship is ever a waste of time.  If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you do NOT want.
89.    You can’t always be agreeable. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.
90.  The road to success is always under construction.
91.     Not trying is failing.
92.   Don’t be afraid of going slowly; be afraid of standing still forever.
93.    The only time you should look back is to see how far you’ve come.

94. Stop wasting time regretting what you did a year ago. Start doing what you have to do now, so that in a year’s time you won’t regret what you did today
95.    It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it how many times you get back up.
96.    Follow your heart regardless of what others tell you to do.  At the end of the day it’s you that has to live with your decisions, not them.
97.    One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you.
98.    The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.
99.    The best things happen when you least expect it.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
100.   Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting.  Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.